


A Lap Around

by Foreversfangirl



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Desertion from military service, Domestic Bliss, F/M, Fear, Feelings of Inadequacy, Fluff, Insecurity, Mention of sex, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), Pregnancy, Reader-Insert, Shame, Slightly paranoid, Wolffe just needs some luvin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreversfangirl/pseuds/Foreversfangirl
Summary: A post clone war Commander Wolffe reflects on his desertion from duty, and his relationship with you.
Relationships: CC-3636 | Wolffe/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	A Lap Around

After the war came to an abrupt end, many clone troopers deserted before The Republic, now The Empire, could decommission them. Commander Wolffe had never once considered desertion; not when he lost his battalion, not when he lost his eye..... not until after he lost General Plo Koon. 

“Honey, can you come help me with this” she called from the kitchen. Your simple request draws him out of his thoughts, and back to their dining room table where he’s been working all afternoon. Wolffe stands, and moves to join her in the kitchen. 

———

You’re the only reason he’s still alive right now. The day the war ended, the day the chancellor ordered all the Jedi killed, the day Wolffe deserted... he watched his brother Jag shoot General Plo out of the air. And he felt nothing in that moment, aside from a directionless sense of duty. But that moment did not last. All at once he felt weak in the knees and sick to his stomach as feelings of fear, guilt, overwhelming sadness, and helplessness crashed over him. He found his feet carrying him to the medical tent set up on Cato Neimoidia, searching for someone. For you. 

He burst into the medical tent, calling out for you. He found you crouched behind an over turned table. Eyes wide and shaking like a leaf, a few tears trickling from your eyes, clutching a scalpel. Your last line of defense. 

“Don’t” you choked out “Get out!” Brandishing the scalpel, knowing full well it would do you no good against plastioid armor and a well trained soldier. 

“I would never hurt you, my love” he took a cautious step forward, arms raised in show of surrender. 

“Why?” You shouted at him through your tears “Why did the men kill my patients? Why did they kill the Padawan? He was just a child!” 

Wolffe glanced over at the two occupied cots across the room, both the visiting Padawan and the Neimoidian solider being treated for fairly minor wounds laid dead from blaster fire. 

“Why am I still alive, Commander,” your lip trembled, as the tears continued to fall. 

———

“How can I help?” He asks, seeing you turned away from him, chopping vegetables picked from your garden. 

“Can you just mind the pot, and stir it a bit for me? I only have two hands,” you ask sweetly. 

Wolffe approaches the stove, takes a  
large wooden spoon and gives the soup a good stir. Making sure nothing is sticking to the bottom or the sides. He sets the spoon down, thinking to himself that while you probably did need him to stir the soup, more than likely you just wanted him close by.

His eyes linger on your hips. They’ve grown wider with the swell of your belly. Your first child. His child. 

You finish chopping the vegetables, and hand him the cutting board. He knows without asking, he’s meant to dump them into the soup. 

“Shall I wash this for you darling?” He asks once the vegetables have been added. 

———

“I- I don’t know,” the words tumbled out of his mouth and he couldn’t stop them “I- we received orders. Orders from the chancellor. Called it Order 66. I-I didn’t know what it meant but-but I didn’t feel like myself. I needed to kill the Jedi, and anyone loyal to them,” 

You stared at him in shock. He took a step closer, and was pained to see you scramble backwards trying to get away from him. 

“I won’t hurt you,” he repeated dropping down to one knee “I would never hurt you” You met his gaze and found you couldn’t look away. 

“We have to get out of here,” he said “I don’t know what’s going on. But we are not staying to find out” 

———

Later in the evening after the soup pot is washed, the kitchen is cleaned, and the left overs put away; he enjoys the feeling of your body leaned back against him as you sit together on the back porch. Watching the sun disappear over the horizon, and the rich pink and orange colors decorate the sky. His large hands situated in the dip of your hips where your bump protrudes out. He holds the weight in his hands, relieving some of the pressure from your pelvis and back. You like to call it taking a bump break when he does this for you. 

A sharp jab at his hand tells you both the baby is awake a moving within you. You make a sound of surprise, and place your hands over your his. 

“Getting stronger with those kicks,” Wolffe chuckles drumming his fingers lightly against your skin. The baby kicks in response. Your laugh is delightful, as he does it again. 

“Alright alright, you’re the boss little one! Hands off mom, I understand,” he says dramatically, removing his hands carefully so as not to drop the belly weight on you all at once. 

“You will do no such thing,” you say, taking his hands a guiding them to rest over the top of the bump instead “Mama is the boss in this house” He chuckles at your remark, and presses a kiss to your head. 

“You certainly are,” 

———

He clutched your hand, and dragged you along with him behind the tents of the encampment. Whatever had possessed him and his brothers to attack General Plo and the others seemed to have passed, but Wolffe had no interest in waiting around for an explanation. Especially if the orders were coming from the chancellor. He ditched his commlink, crushing it with the heel of his boot. He’d had enough of blindly following orders. 

“Wolffe, where are we going?” He pulled up short, and tucked you behind him as he looked out passed the cover of the tent. 

“The landing bay. We’re taking a ship and getting out of here,” he said watching two of his brothers walk away. 

You wanted to ask about his brothers, about the war, about his lack of control from the orders, about where you could possibly go. You knew he would not have answers, it would be pointless to ask. But you trust him wholeheartedly, and followed his instructions.

“Come on,” he urged you forward once more. Darting across the flat ground, and hiding behind the wing of a ship. 

“Can you fly this thing?” You asked, as he punched in the code to the access door. 

“I’m no fighter pilot, but I can fly” he responded, the ramp descended and he had you inside before it even fully touched the ground. “Go into the cockpit, and strap in”

You did as he asked, while he keyed in the command to raise the ramp and shut the door. Sitting in the cockpit, strapped into the copilot’s chair you looked at all the buttons and switches frustrated that you don’t know what a single one of them does and can’t be of more help in this situation.

He came into the cockpit immediately hitting buttons and flipping switches in what appeared to be a specific order. “They’re searching for us,” he said 

“Who?” You asked, voice laced with fear 

“My brothers, but I don’t think they know what’s going on either,” the ship powered up, and the engines roared to life. 

“Should... should we do something? They’re... they’re your family,” you didn’t exactly know what your asking, but abandoning them felt wrong. Wolffe didn’t respond for a long moment 

“You’re my family,” he said “I have to keep you safe,” 

———

You don’t sleep as well as you used to now that your belly has grown so large. You had always been a side or stomach sleeper, which is not exactly an option at the moment. But Wolffe does what he can to make sure you’re comfortable laying on your back. He arranges the pillows to better support your head and neck, and makes sure you’ve got a small one to cross your arms over. Sleeping next to someone for years, you grow accustomed to holding on to something when you sleep, a habit not easily broken. He leans over you, smoothing back your hair and pressing a kiss to your forehead before leaving the room. 

He does this every night. Hasn’t skipped a single day since coming here. Every night, he makes sure you’re tucked away in bed before taking a lap around the property and double checking that every door and window is locked. Old habits die hard, he may not be a soldier anymore, but he still feels a need to make a perimeter sweep before settling in for the night. He values this time, it’s quiet and meticulous, and ultimately it just makes him feel better. 

You don’t exactly hate it. You understand it’s important to him, and appreciate his attentive care to the safety of the family. But you don’t like it. You don’t like thinking about the implication of needing to do security checks. It worries you, what if there was something out there, and he just never came back. Or whatever it was came in while he was checking. But your rational mind knows, there is nothing out there trying to get in. This planet is quiet, remote and safe. The town is half a days walk from the cabin, and not a single person who lives in that town knows either of your names. 

Wolffe figures that someday, someone will come looking. One of his brothers, or maybe friends of yours. That’s not why he checks. He wouldn’t mind seeing any of his brothers again, even some of the ones he’d never met. He wouldn’t mind if someone who cared about you came looking. But what scared Wolffe, was everyone else. 

The Empire’s new reign wasn’t so different from The Republic, but then again he had never lived as a civilian during the age of The Republic. Wolffe did not trust The Empire, wanted nothing to do with them. He knew the emperor was bad news, even though he himself had not killed anyone during Order 66, he could still feel it within him... the feeling of not being in control. Watching from behind his own eyes. He never wanted to feel that way again. 

You didn’t know what to think. About The Republic and The Empire, how everything went down. You often wondered what was happening on the core worlds, what happened to Wolffe’s brothers after The Empire decommissioned them... how many of them were forced to kill people they cared about? How many of them figured out about the biochips and had them removed? Are they still rejected by civilians now that they are no longer considered property? 

None of these questions had easy answers. And you were not inclined to go looking for them. After all it’s been 6 years and nothing has come to this small planet in the outer rim. Neither friend nor foe. But he checks and double checks anyway. Especially now that you’re expecting. 

———

He hadn’t given much thought to having children during the war. Truly he didn’t think he would live to see the end of it. He was a good soldier, and a good leader. But he couldn’t ignore the very human part of him that craved companionship. He tried his best to push those feelings as far away as possible, because it was unfair to expect to die and also seek out a partner he would ultimately leave behind. But you, you had other plans. 

A spunky little combat medic with a firm hand and a dazzling smile. He loathed to admit it now, but he didn’t want to like you, he didn’t really want an enlisted doctor to be the lead medic for his team. But General Plo trusted you, and you did your job well. The men liked you a lot, sought out your company and invited you to eat with them whenever they could. Wolffe originally thought it was just because you were a woman. Many of his brothers went out of their way at any opportunity to make acquaintance with a woman, just to say they had. But as he began to relent, and join his brothers in chatting with you in the evenings around settlement fires, he found that you were genuinely pleasant to have around.

You were a brilliant doctor, and an highly capable field medic. You didn’t even flinch when looking at a particularly gruesome wound, when even he had to look away to compose himself. Beyond that you were respectful, kind, funny, and admittedly very attractive. As time went on he found himself seeking you out more and more; longing hear your voice or feel the gentle pressure of your hands when you’d lightly push him. He knew he wasn’t the only one seeking out your individual attention, but after a time he realized he wanted to be the only one who got to enjoy your soft smiles and kind words. 

Finally one day, he couldn’t stand it anymore. The leader of the liberation army on the planet the 104th had been stationed on had been getting very friendly with you. You had always been good about getting along well with locals, usually it made working with them easier. But Wolffe could feel his blood pressure rising watching this stranger put his hand on your shoulder, duck his head down to speak to you, and just continually be in your presence. 

Something in him snapped. He was acting on impulse, as he marched over to you and fought every instinct he had to take your arm. Instead he stood at attention, and asked if he could have a private word with you. 

“Of course, Commander” you had replied “Walk with me?” You turned away from the man, and Wolffe and began walking. Wolffe followed a half step behind you, until you turned a corner of the building into a somewhat secluded area. Before he even had a chance to open his mouth you started talking. 

“Maker, that guy is annoying! Can’t stand the hiss in his voice or his damp hands! Uuughh you’ve no idea how long I’ve been trying to shake him today,” you gave a little shudder and ran a hand over your head, smoothing back your hair. “What can I do for you sir?” 

Suddenly he didn’t know what to say, he didn’t really have a plan going into this, and your admission to wanting to get away from the man had shaken him up. He realized a second too late that he hadn’t said a single word the entire time he’s been standing there.

“Wolffe? Are you alright?” You asked, reaching out to place a comforting hand on his upper arm. 

“I can’t stand it” he blurted out. “I can’t stand watching him or anyone else getting so close to you” 

Your other hand shoots out, gripping his other arm. Eyes intensely focused on his. Instantly he regretted his words, finding them too possessive and intrusive. How was he any better than those he despised seeing with you? 

“Keep talking,” you urged, giving him a squeeze 

Wolffe’s heart hammered in his chest, but this was it, this was his chance. He tentatively placed his hands on your waist, stole himself and pressed on 

“Can’t think straight when I see someone’s hands on you. I don’t even like seeing you with my brothers if they’re not part of our battalion. I hate when I have to leave you without a security detail. You’re always on my mind. I want to protect you, keep you safe, I-“ he didn’t even realize he had backed you up into the wall of the building. Your hands had begun drifting up his shoulders, creeping up the back on his neck finally landing at his jaw. Your thumbs gently stroked his cheeks. 

“You’re doing great,” you laughed softly “I don’t like it when you’re away either” 

A devilish grin crossed his face, “Do you now? Tell me then, how do you feel when I go out on assignment?” He squeezed gently at your waist. 

“I worry you’ll come into my med bay on a stretcher. I wonder when I’ll get to see your handsome face again. My heart aches, so much I feel it in my bones. I miss you when you’re gone,” you dropped your gaze, blushing profusely “And I can’t help wondering if you miss me too” 

Wolffe couldn’t help himself in that moment, he dipped his head down and captured your lips in a firm kiss. Pulling away, he rested his forehead against yours 

“More than you know,”

———

After coming back inside and checking the lock on the door one last time, he sheds his coat and boots by the door. He washes up quickly, and changes into the soft pants reserves for sleeping. He can’t tell if you’re already asleep or faking it, but he gingerly climbs into bed careful not to disturb you just in case. 

His eyes settle over your baby bump. He used to be so closed off to the idea of even having a partner, children never even crossed his mind. Even being with you when you were both still in the army, he wasn’t thinking about having children, he was too preoccupied with making sure both of you, and the rest of the 104th made it to tomorrow. It wasn’t until much later, after deserting, that began to wonder. 

When he was younger, finally deployed and off the rainy rock he was created on, many of his brothers would boast about their abilities to seduce and pleasure women they met bars or on assignment. At the time he largely ignored it, unlike some of his brothers Wolffe found the idea of one night stands and drunken love making with strangers to be rather uncomfortable. How could anyone feel safe being so vulnerable with a complete stranger? He almost always tuned out, or at least didn’t really participate when brothers would turn to that topic. But he did remember a few of them making remarks about not having to worry about “happy little accidents”... it was never a stated fact by their Kaminoan creators that they were sterile, but most of them assumed it would be true. 

“We’re bred soldiers aren’t we? Suppose it makes us better for the cause if we can’t run around procreating on every planet in the galaxy,” he remembered someone saying. He never took it to heart, didn’t matter to him. He wouldn’t live long enough to love a woman anyway. Or so he thought at the time. 

Oh how wrong he was. 

For how stern, callous and domineering he outwardly seemed, you see him for who he truly is. A young man, in a quickly aging and somewhat abused body, who desperately wanted to feel valued and needed by something other than the powers that manufactured him. 

You gave him that and more. In your arms he felt desired, appreciated, and worthy. Having you express your desire to be his, and his alone made him feel confident and strong; and incredibly lucky. He made sure to cherish every moment with you. 

Eventually the relationship became more and more physical behind closed doors. Despite his inexperience he was eager to learn, and eager to please. With you he felt safe shedding his armor, literally and figuratively. At first he was happy to let you lead, show him what you liked and allow him the opportunity to figure out what he liked. You assured him he was welcome to suggest anything that sounded pleasurable, and that he wouldn’t have to worry about where to finish. That was the first time he actually thought about children. When you told him you had a birth control implant that would last for a few years and it could be replaced or removed at anytime. 

At the time he was relieved, but as he grew more confident in the bedroom and the two of you quite literally ran away together; he started thinking about it more. This was your life now, living alone together in this cabin at the edge of the universe. His only responsibility is keeping you happy, healthy and safe. He wondered exactly how many years that birth control implant of yours would last. And after it became ineffective, would it even make a difference? He wondered if his brothers were right all those years ago, was he even capable of giving you a child if it was something you wanted? 

He was ashamed to admit even to himself, that he was afraid of that possibility. He never even wanted children, but he was afraid he would disappoint you if you wanted them. He was afraid that maybe he did want them, and it would be out of his reach. These were dark and painful thoughts that clouded his mind and furrowed his brow for years after settling down with you. If ever you noticed his pensive stare and firm frown, he’d wave it off as lost in thought or remembering something he’d rather not. To which you would always offer a warm embrace, a gentle kiss and extend an invitation to help you with some task or activity to distract him from his distress. And of course the promise you would always be willing to listen if he wanted to talk about it. 

Eventually, the answers came to him without ever having to ask. Five and a half years, that was the duration left in the life span of your implant. And yes, indeed he was capable of having children. When you came to him, telling him of your suspicion you were pregnant he wept with joy, kissed you senseless, and could not contain his smile. His private battle with his insecurities as a man was finally over. He was not damaged, or incomplete has he had led himself to believe. He is every bit the man, the lover, the partner and the father you believe him to be. 

These thoughts wash over him, laying next to you in bed. He knows he’s crowding you a bit, but he just wants to feel the warmth of your skin and the beating of your heart before falling asleep. For so long he resented his own existence; born to die for a cause he would never be able to reap the benefits of. But he knows now. That was never his purpose for existing his this universe. His purpose is right here, with you and his child soon to come. His purpose is to love you every single day, and raise this child together for as much as time as he has left.


End file.
